Husband and Wife – A mother’s advice to her son

Husband Wife

My dear son, always remember that your wife is your life partner, for better or for worse; don’t be harsh with her, even if you are angry with her. Follow this advice, and consider it my treasure to you.

1. Always bear in mind that you have married a woman, not a man.
2. Don’t try to be victorious over her in every battle.
3. Give her a completely free reign in her home and do not interfere at all in her affairs.
4. Continuously praise her, especially in front of your family and pay extra attention to her in their presence.
5. No as much as you can about her; be sensitive and pick up on subtle changes.
6. Surprise her with a gift on a day she is not expecting it, and give her little gifts from time to time.
7. Send her loving text messages once in a while.
8. Do not spy on her, and beware of doubting her being overly suspicious.
9. Be keen to satisfy her physical and emotional needs.
10. Have a strong personality without being stern and obscene.
11. Don’t communicate what happens between the 2 of you to your mother.
12. Give her your ear, she’ll give you her heart & mind.
13. Kindness, kindness, kindness.
14. Understand the extent of the pressure she faces, then see if you appreciate what she does.
15. Always pamper her and massage her from time to time (sound cooler in Arabic).
16. Call her from work, not to ask about dinner, but to say, “I love you”.
17. Remain composed during any conflict; neither raise your voice nor utter unbecoming words.
18. Honor her parents and speak well of them & invite them.
19. Pay attention to personal hygiene, especially your mouth (breath); and take a bath at least once a day.
20. Use lovely nicknames and address her with terms of endearment.
21. Be merciful and loving, verily, those with big hearts always win.
22. Let her feel how valuable she is, how much you need her and that you are proud of her.
23. Overlook trivial matters & rise above lowly matters; don’t be nit picky.
24. Bury past negative stances & forget them (let bygones be bygones).
25. Ask her how her day went everyday.
26. Stand by her in any disagreements with your children, & share your thoughts with her when alone with her.
27. Spend on her from the bank of sweet words without limit.
28. When you get home, look for her before anything else.
29. Don’t minimize her feelings & needs.
30. Go out with her from time to time alone, with no kids.
31. When she’s ill, be gentle with her & care for her.
32. If you hurt her feelings, be extra kind to her and apologize.
33. Be keen to keep a smile; it is cheaper than electricity, but brighter.

Husband Wife

Ref: Pious Couple

A confession from a married man who still goes on dates

’I want to confess to something: I’m dating a woman, but I’m also married.

She’s incredible. She’s beautiful, intelligent, quick-witted and strong. I love going to cafes with her, to the cinema, to exhibitions. I love telling her that she’s beautiful. I can’t remember the last time I was angry with her even for five minutes. Whatever kind of day I’ve had, her smile always cheers me up. Sometimes she organises surprises for me. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t feel so happy that I’ve met her, and that she’s mine alone.

Try it yourself; then you’ll see your own life change for the better. Oh, didn’t I mention that the woman I’m dating is my wife? What, you thought it was someone else?

If you’re married, it doesn’t mean your life is over. I want to continue going on dates with my wife. The desire to make her happy didn’t disappear just because she once said, ’I do.’

I often notice how relationships start to break down because both sides give up trying to understand and get to know each other better like they did at the start. But if you keep going on dates, you’ll learn something new about your partner every time. Why stop doing it? You should never stop doing it!

That spark, that feeling of butterflies in your stomach that was there on your first date might not appear again for another two years. But from day to day, you need to behave as if you’ve only just met — then you’ll both notice big changes in your relationship.

Communicating and taking a constant interest in each other is the key to a successful relationship. No one wants to be with a person who isn’t interested in them.

I suggest that you don’t give up inviting your wife out for a date. Romantic evenings together shouldn’t just end when you put the ring on her finger.

Ref: BrightSide

Life Rules to Know Before You Turn 30

Turning 30 is a major milestone. It’s really the point at which you leave the youthful 20s behind and settle into who you are, and what your life will be about. Here are 15 life rules you’ll want to know before you turn 30 .

Be Yourself

Hopefully, you’ve already realized this. The older you get, the more you’ll see that being anything but yourself is counterproductive — and no one really cares. Just be yourself. You’ll be happier. What people think of you will become so irrelevant you’ll wonder what you were so worried about.

The Clock Only Goes One Way

This becomes really apparent as you creep up to your 40s. You’re heading into the second half of life, so make the most of the time you have now while you’re young. You’ll only be young once. Make the most of your teen years and your 20s.

Experiences Matter More Than Things

Sure having a new car, TV, Xbox, and iPhone are all really cool. We all like nice things. The older you get, you’ll look back and it’s not the iPhone or the Xbox that you’ll remember — it’s the experiences you had. The places you visited. The people you hung out with. Focus on having more experiences than things and you’ll have a rich life to look back on!

The Golden Rule

Treat others as you’d like to be treated. You’ve probably already learned this, but in your 30s you’ll be a lot more self-conscious about it. You’ll also feel better. Doing the right thing isn’t always easy, but treating people right, rather than worrying about personal gain or appearance, will leave you feeling better. It turns out that the nicer you are to people, the happier you are.

Help Those in Need

The older you get, the more sympathy you’ll have. Take every opportunity you can before 30 to ask yourself how you can help someone that needs a hand. You’ll look back fondly on these moments. As time goes on, this will affect you in ways you never thought possible. A simple act of kindness today can catch up with you down the road in the most surprising ways.

Your Health Is the Most Important Thing

Everything you do, and I mean everything, no longer matters if you lose your health. Your health is more important than your grades, that next promotion, the new car — everything. Try to do something every day that makes you a healthier person. Poor health will stop you from having a lot of experiences. Don’t rob yourself of those by treating your body poorly. It gets harder in your 30s.

Lying Only Haunts You

Lies will catch up with you. They’re also extremely unnecessary. Being honest is always the best policy because you never need to remember the truth.  Once you lie, you may need another lie to cover up the first lie. After a while, you’ll need to recall lies from your past, or get caught and feel terrible and embarrassed. The truth, even when painful, will always leave you feeling good at the end of the day.

Money Vs. Time

The big difference is that you can usually get more of one, but only by trading some of the other. Need more money? You can trade in your time and work for it. Need more time? It’ll cost you hours of potential work and dollars earned. The biggest difference is that you can always get more money while time is limited to a certain amount. We don’t know that amount up front, so you’ll want to spend it wisely.

Call Your Mother

It doesn’t matter how busy you are, how old you are, what you’re doing — call your mother. She will be dying to hear from you. Most of us don’t call our mothers enough. There will come a time when you wish you called your mother more, and that time is usually when it’s too late. Pick up the phone, even if you have nothing to say, and call your mother.

Build Bridges, Don’t Burn Them

Sometimes you just want to tell someone to go pound sand. When you’re quitting a job this may be very tempting. If there’s a friend in your group that you just can’t stand, or if you’re not getting the service you require at a business, it’s easy to lose your cool and stick it to them. This is a mistake. The number of times you’ll run into these people later in life is astounding. Quite often, you’ll be in a position where you need something from them. Build bridges; even if it sucks, it could pay off later.

Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover

People will surprise you. If you count them out simply by looking at their appearance or their status in life, you’re going to miss out on some great relationships. Have you ever met or worked with someone and realized that you had them figured all wrong? This happens a lot more than you think.

Be Open to New Experiences

The older you get, the more difficult it is to be open-minded about new things. We all get comfortable in our surroundings, with the people we know, the restaurants we like to eat at, etc. You’re going to miss out on a whole lot of life if you close the door on some things. Our brain tricks us into thinking the couch is better than what’s outside. These experience are also richer than the ones earlier in life as you tend to appreciate them more.

Life Is Too Short to Ignore Your Dreams

You only go around once, so stop putting off your biggest dreams until later in life. Do them now. Find a way. There’s no prize at the end for working the hardest or making the most money, so you might as well live the life you want to. You’ll regret not following your dreams if you don’t take a chance and at least try.

Forgiveness Is Important

It can be really hard to forgive someone who has hurt you, but carrying around that anger becomes some hefty baggage. You’ll find it a lot easier to go through life not being angry all the time, and learning that before 30 can ensure you’re a whole lot happier. Find a way to deal with it, forgive them, and move on. This doesn’t mean trusting them again, it just means not holding a grudge.

There’s no real key to happiness, it’s just about discovering what happiness means to you and living a life that way. If you can learn the above lessons before 30, you’ll be way ahead of the curve and your future self will thank you. Have fun and enjoy life!

Ref: Collective-Evolution

Salty coffee – A Heart Touching Story

He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.

At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself, “Please, let me go home…”

Suddenly he asked the waiter, “Would you please give me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.” Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, “Why you have this hobby?” He replied, “When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there.” While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home… Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.

That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life… And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that’s the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said, “My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life’s lie. This was the only lie I said to you—the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything… Now I’m dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don’t like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste… But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again.”

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her, “What’s the taste of salty coffee?” She replied, “It’s sweet.”
Ref: AwesomeQuotes4u

Five stupid question that women should not ask

Women 🙂

Five stupid question, that any woman should not ask any man!

Gepostet von Walk, Love, Laugh, and Eat am Mittwoch, 23. Dezember 2015

Things Which Weaken The Marriage

1) Misbehaving – saying bad or hateful things, making bad jokes and insulting each other.

2) Ignore – not replying back to the “salams” or giving each other the good ear to listen and share.

3) Lying – Allah forbids the believers to lie. There is no room in Islam for liars, and may Allah save us from this evil, ameen.

4) Breaking Promises – Keeping a trust is also an important characteristic of a believer.

5) Avoiding Contact – You hug the brothers at the mosque, but what about a “little hug” with your wife? Come on, you can do it.

6) Suspicion & Backbiting – Allah says, “O believers, avoid much suspicion. Certainly suspicion is sinful. And don’t spy or backbite each other. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother. You would hate it. Fear Allah’s punishment. For sure Allah is the Acceptor of repentance, The Merciful.” [Quran 49: 12]

7) Too Busy – Take time for each other. You have rights on each other. Give everyone their rights and you will be given your rights.

8) Leaving the worship – Allah will never be pleased with someone who leaves His guidance and does not worship Him. This will cause Muslim families serious problems and even to split up, faster than anything.

Child Abuse – Three simple steps to save a child

We all know that child sexual abuse is a very real threat in the world we live in today. The numbers tell a shocking story. When you read the stories and feel your heart sinking to your toes, do you ever wonder if there was something, someone could have done? Yes, there is. Preventing CSA is very, very possible. Watch the video to know how little it takes to start a chain reaction to keep kids safe. In three simple steps, learn what you need to know and how the knowledge can literally change a child’s life.#StopChildSexualAbuse#AssureOurChildrensFuture#WalkTheTalk

Gepostet von AWARE India am Freitag, 13. Februar 2015

 

We all know that child abuse is a very real threat in the world we live in today. The numbers tell a shocking story. When you read the stories and feel your heart sinking to your toes, do you ever wonder if there was something, someone could have done?

Yes, there is.

Preventing CSA is very, very possible. Watch the video to know how little it takes to start a chain reaction to keep kids safe. In three simple steps, learn what you need to know and how the knowledge can literally change a child’s life.

 

Husband and Wife – 10 Golden Marriage Advices by Imam Ahmad

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (rahimahullah) gave the following advice to his son on his wedding day:

Dear son, you will not attain good fortune in your home except by 10 characteristics which you show to your wife, so remember them and be enthusiastic in acting upon them.

1. & 2. As for the first two; women like attention and they like to be told clearly that they are loved. So don’t be stingy in expressing your love for your wife. If you become limited in expressing your love, you will create a barrier of harshness between you and her, and there will be a decrease in affection.

3. Ladies hate a strict, overcautious man, yet they seek to use the soft vulnerable one. So use each quality appropriately. This will be more appealing for love and it will bring you peace of mind.

4. Ladies like from their husbands what their husbands like from them, i.e. kind words, good looks, clean clothes and a pleasant odour. Therefore, always remain in that state.

5. Indeed, the house is under the sovereignty of the woman. While she remains therein, she feels that she is sitting upon her throne, and that she is the chief of the house . Stay clear of destroying this kingdom of hers and do not ever attempt to dethrone her, otherwise you will be trying to snatch her sovereignty. A king gets most angry at he who tries to strip him of his authority, even if he portrays to show something else.

6. A woman wants to love her husband, but at the same time she does not want to lose her family. So do not put yourself and her family in the same scale, because then her choice will be down to either you or her family. And even if she does choose you over her family, she will remain in anxiety, which will then turn into hatred towards you in your daily life.

7. Surely woman has been created from a curved rib, and this is the secret of her beauty, and the secret of the attraction towards her. And this is no defect in her, because ‘the eyebrows look beautiful due to them being curved’. So if she errs, do not rebuke her in a manner in which there is no gentleness, attempting to straighten her; otherwise you will simply break her and her breaking, is her divorce. At the same time do not let her off upon that mistake, otherwise her crookedness will increase and she will become arrogant with her ego. Thereafter, she will never soften for you and she won’t listen to you, so stay in between the two.

8. It is in the women’s nature to be ungrateful towards their husbands and to deny favours. If you were to be nice to her for her whole life but you grieved her once, she will say, “I have never seen any good from you”. So don’t let this attitude of her make you dislike her or to run away from her. If you dislike this feature of hers, you will be pleased with some other good habits within her, so create a balance.

9. Surely there are times when a woman goes through some conditions of bodily weakness and fatigue of the mind. Such that Allah has relieved her of some of her compulsory worships during that period; Allah has totally pardoned her from praying, and has postponed the days of fasting for her within this break to a later date until she regains her health and becomes normal in her temperament once more. Thus, during these days, treat her in a godly manner. Just as Allah has relieved her of the duties, you should also lessen your demands and instructions from her during those days.

10. Last but not least, know that a woman is like a captive with you. Therefore, have mercy upon her.

Translated by Shaykh Abdul Rahim

Ref: Ilm Feed